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Finding a job: First heal the pain of the unemployment and job loss!!!

I have learned over the years that there is always a “reason” that people are not finding work.

Many times it has very little to do with the “job market” or their “résumé” or their “cover letter”.

Quite often what it has to do with is the fact that they are suffering from the devastating effects of losing their job. This can be compounded when someone has been fired. Since most people have so much of their value tied up in their identification with the work they do, when unemployment happens, for any reason. the person becomes “injured” mentally, emotionally and spiritually. The hurt is just as real as a broken leg or arm.

Before the job search will be successful it is important to give yourself time to heal and put things in perspective.

One person I know was laid off after 27 years with the same company. It has been a year search for him so far to find a job. The fact is I believe the reason he has not found a job is that he really needed a break after working so long. His background is great and stable. I believe when he is “ready” his sense of urgency will grow and things will begin to happen for him.

Another person I have worked with was fired from her last job. A consummate fund raiser that has raised over 20 million dollars for non profits over the years the issue is not her experience or background but getting over the trauma of the firing. I was a gentle reminder to her of what she has accomplished and what she has to offer. She had two interviews within four weeks of our working together.

When unemployed it is easy to lose our confidence and forget what we have to offer and how we have positively affected the companies we have worked for.

Take the time to let yourself heal from the pain and loss of a job. Take an inventory of your accomplishments and take the time to practice your interview skills around this inventory.

The job search and how to deal with the uncertainty.

Most people do not like looking for a job. Most people do not like the feeling of uncertainty that comes with being unemployed. Most people do not like to interview.

The above statements come from my years of working with people that are unemployed.

Human beings, when they feel they are threatened, get to a point where the “fight or flight” response kicks in. Especially when lack of finances get to be an issue. This is why some people become so angry when looking for a job. They are in the “fight” mode.

Acceptance and non-resistance. A great spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle (A New Earth and The Power of Now) speaks of the concepts of acceptance and non-resistance. When people are out of work the tendency is to, at first, be in denial, then anger, then acceptance. A person will not be successful in a job search until the acceptance point has been reached. {Note:Acceptance does not cause “non action” to occur}

The human being has a tendency to be unconscious. The way unconsciousness manifests itself is by spending mental and emotional energy thinking about and regretting the past or worrying about the future. By doing this we are taken out of the “NOW”. We are taken out of the “is ness” of the moment. The present moment seems too painful. In fact, the comment may be, “I don’t like how this feels”, “being unemployed”. The reason for this pain is manifold. One main reason is humans identify with things. We become our job. We become the role we have lost. So it feels like we have lost ourselves. The truth is we are NOT our jobs. We are much more then that. In fact being unemployed can be an opportunity to “find ourselves” or, it can just be painful.

So unemployment can be an opportunity to face and learn from “OUR HUMAN CONDITION”. The more we fight or resist our unemployment the longer it will take, or more painful it will be, to find a position. The more we resist and allow the negative thoughts and emotions that often come with unemployment to rule us the longer it will take to find a job.

So prior to starting a search allow yourself to have your negative thoughts and feeling. Do not make them wrong but try to look at yourself as a disinterested “third party”. I see anger in myself. I see resentment in myself. I see fear in myself. I see uncertainty in myself. I see doubt in myself. Acknowledge the thoughts and feeling, do not make them wrong. (Let yourself be in the now.)

Do not resist them. And remember the phrase “this too will pass”.

We are on this planet to OVERCOME AND TRANSEND our human condition and our circumstances.

We are not here to be victims. We are here to be of service and to be creators. When I work with people one on one to support them in their job search, it is not I that gets them the job. I may be the source of the job openings or they may be the source of the job openings. Where the job comes from does not matter. But ultimately they create the position coming into there lives and the biggest thing I can do is help them become the creators they are.

A good resume, a strategic job search plan, interview skill practice, how to analyze your strengths and communicate them. How to interview the interviewer. These are all important skills I teach. But the number one element to work on is ATTITUDE, having the right consciousness. When this is right miracles happen. It really is not about the ECONOMY. You can do nothing about the economy. But you can do a lot about your viewpoint towards yourself and your situation.